Discount Shopping

Oh, internet auction sites, how you spite my wallet.

Thing is, even if you don't need a Northwave Bike Raptor S.B.S. Mountain Bike Shoe, or a women's Royal Robbins Sonoma Boucle Hooded Sweatshirt, goddamn it, they cost half what they should!

Those shoes are $60 and you don't own a mountain bike, but goddamn it they normally retail for $149.99 and it is a DEAL.

This week, the culprit was a pair of cufflinks. With working clocks on them. Links. Clocks. Wow.

See ya later, $100.

Roadside Attractions

I'm starting to uncover a pattern, and it goes like this:

You can/should do _____ now, because you will offset it with _____ later on.

Almost always, this is a fat, fucking lie.

Go ahead and finish the bag of gummy worms and then have a popsicle . You'll bike home from work tomorrow.

Lie.

You can skip working out this morning -- you'll just do some pushups when you get home.

Lie.

Sure, go ahead and get high first thing in the morning. Just have some coffee before you go out and you'll be fiiiiine.

Total lie.

I wonder if my Christian upbringing is creeping in around the edges here. My brain has a clear habit of trafficking in "future rewards rather than in present realities" (Tom Robbins), and if that isn't the hallmark of Western religion, I don't know what is.