The couch is a motherfucker.
You're lying there, relaxing with your back all curled to shit against the arm of a loveseat. As young-adult scoliosis sets in, you gorge yourself on comfort and Teddy Grahams. The clock on the cable box shows 11pm. Daily Show, Colbert, sweet.
Now it's midnight. Home Movies reruns? Sure. 12:30. You yawn, body eager to slip out of consciousness, and your brain says, Check the DVR. I bet you've got some real funny shit on there.
12:37 rolls through and you're blacked out in front of last week's Office, arm draped over your face, neck jammed at a right angle.
Congratulations, brain, you win.
At 3:00 you will wake up in a cold sweat, and you will drag your sorry, tired ass to the bathroom and then to bed. You will wake up at 8:00 feeling like complete shit, utterly confused by the lucid zombie apocalypse dream you just snapped out of (thanks again, brain).
Either I secretly love watching TV through my eyelids or my brain hates me. Can't tell.
So here's hope that "scoliosis" is just a secret codeword for "awesome."
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